To be read in Laura Brown’s voice (powerful tone and broken English), after having just woken up, talking to Mother over tea about her nightmare.
They pulled me back again last night, Mama
I was tugging and fighting
But there was nothing I could do, Mama
When I screamed
No sound came out
When I closed my eyes
I could still see them right there in front of me
When I tried to shake loose, Mama
They tightened them ropes.
Tear after salty tear, Mama
I said I was sorry
I hadn’t done nothing wrong Mama but I was sorry
They still wouldn’t listen to me.
They five gruesome big bulking men- no faces
Hair everywhere, Mama
Tangled strands covering they bodies
Heaps upon heaps of tangles
Knots and nits and everything in between
Long and dark enough to wrap around my neck
And take away my breath.
They didn’t do not much talking, Mama
Just grabbed me from behind
Strapped me in this chair
And told me to keep my eyes wide open
Or else I’d never see the light of day.
And so I tried
I tried Mama to do what they said
But they kept showing me these
These rotten images
Of you and Daddy dying
And Little Martha crying
And me just, just sitting in the background, Mama
Not doing a single goddamned thing, Mama.
How could I not
Have any control whatsoever?
And then this one image, Mama
You and Daddy and Little Martha and the whole wide world
Standing outside and the grounds are on fire
I’m sitting inside
I’m sitting inside making love to the devil himself
Giving him every ounce of attention that I can express
My very soul
And I can’t even look out the window to see what’s happening.
Then at the end, Mama
One of them scary, hooded men
He comes up to me
He unties them ropes
Plunges his very fist into my heart
And takes out a thin crystal shard
Reflecting all them gruesome images I’d just seen
And he says to me, Mama
He leans in and says to me
Is but a relapse.