shades of lonely

the ramblings of a walking paradox

i am my loneliness. i am the cigarettes my lips embrace one after the other, all those things left unsaid escaping my lungs along with the smoke. i am the perfectly polished nails, yellowing underneath my shades of nude. i am the laughs that last longer than they should, too high-pitched and too loud. i am the hands of the boy that i let touch me, seeking refuge in his lust. i am the pages of books read in the A.M., dog-eared and crinkled up. i am the nights spent shifting to and fro, the dream-interrupted slumber. i am the hot and impulsive anger, stopping by for a visit every once in a while to replace the sadness. i am the eyes i let you look at me with, because i haven’t been looked at like that in a while. i am the people i fill my insides with, finding comfort in their…

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